The Beginning

A shot fired, then another, then another. They never ceased, they were just drowned out every now and then by an explosion, or a last breath. The descent of a home lifts the dust closer to heaven along with the hidden residents. It was the least to be expected when faced with war. A mile south of the purification a little girl sat in her father’s lap lost in a world that never lands, with a boy who lives with his feet off the ground. The girl snuggled her cheek to her father’s chest hoping to get a glimpse of the world that would haunt her dreams. His heartbeat was strong and steady unlike her own, as she awaited the end of the boy’s destiny. There was a sword and a hook, a fairy and some magic, all in an exhilarating dance. With a dash, a swirl, and a twinkle of hope the boy would defeat the inevitable end and win his forever. The little girl sucked in a breath of anticipation, and with a flash of bright light she drowned the world in silence with her final breath. 

#7

I sat by the bedside, my head in my heads, my heart open, and my mouth speaking prayers of desperation. What can I do? I’d give anything to have the power to go back in time to change the past so that I’d have a future. But I’m left here, my heart laying next to me clinging to life. Images of our life flashed through my mind. Laughter, happiness, anger, sadness in one or another; love in all. The first time we met in the park, our first date at the café by the bookstore, our first fight, the moment I realized I was in love, the moment I realized I was loved, all of these memories playing like film in my head. I felt tears well up in my eyes, my chest started hurting and my head sunk deeper into my lap.

I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into the abyss. The only thing that roused me was the doctor touching my shoulder. I looked into her eyes and saw compassion. It was so easy for her to feel compassion, she wasn’t in my shoes, her heart wasn’t at stake. I stood up and followed her into the corner of the room. She apologized and shook her head. There was nothing she could do. There’s nothing anyone could do. The world around me stilled, I was stuck in a moment, a time in space that I couldn’t escape. I walked back to the bed, sat down and rested my head on the sheets, what if’s racing through my mind. What if I never got in the car? What if I didn’t drive? What if I appreciated what I had more? What if loved more?

Hours passed and nurses and doctors came in. The machine was unplugged, the beeping slowed down, and silence filled the room. Each one of them glanced at me, bowed their head as they walked out as if to resemble grief. I waited until they took the body out. Wrapped it in plastic and wheeled it to the frozen grave. I sat there and stared at the empty bed. The warmth that was once there now slowly leaving it. I got up and walked to the door. Touching the handle I turned back, a sigh escaping my breath, one last look. I turned off the lights, shut the door and left. 

#9

“Please exit to the right.” Eliza looked over her shoulder before she walked out. The theatre looked larger than she expected. She started heading off the stage, but as she turned a stage crew members flashed one of the lights right in her eyes. Blinded by the brightness of the stage light Eliza lost her footing and stumbled forward into a pile of wires. This can’t be happening she thought. She didn’t get any sleep the night before because she was preparing for her audition. Her performance displayed her exhaustion and coffee induced alertness, which would have been good if she was auditioning for the role of a drug addict and not an elegant ballerina. Stupid, stupid, stupid she couldn’t believe that she screwed up what was supposed to be her big break. She told herself that it was her fault, her lack of talent, that she shouldn’t have even tried, but she wanted to be a performer so desperately.

                Eliza propped herself up on her elbows, but as she tried to push herself up one of the cords slid out from underneath her and she plopped back down. Great she was flat on her back again. Only place to go is up she shook her head at the ridiculous saying. When she looked up she saw a hand in front of her. She grabbed the hand and started getting up, but when she locked eyes with the owner of the hand her knees began to shake. Deep curious hazel eyes that dazzled even in the badly lit backstage area. In seconds she was aware of how awkward she looked, and that her hair was a mess, and that her mouth was wide open. She snapped her mouth shut and attempted to smile politely, but it came out more like a dopey grin. She almost slipped back down but he tightened his gripped, grabbed her elbow and lifted her up. Oh my gosh, he’s so strong. “Thank you” Eliza was at a loss for words, and breathe.

“No problem” He smiled again. The corners of his mouth reaching from cheek to cheek, displaying pearly white teeth and one right dimple. Eliza was dumb struck. She couldn’t move, her feet felt too heavy. Stop it! She yelled at herself. You’re still smiling like an idiot, stop. It’s just a guy, no big deal. So what he was nice to help you up, and so what he has the cutest dimple ever, and his eyes are just….Snap out of it Lizzy. Stop staring at him, you’re making this awkward. You are an intelligent, independent woman stop staring at this man like you’re a middle school girl at a One Direction concert. Eliza May walk away right this minute!!!

“Are you ok? You fell pretty hard.” Wait did he just say something. Crap! What did he say? I have to say something. Or not, I’ll just smile and nod. That should be fine right?

“That’s good. I was worried that you might have broken something, especially after you fell the second time.” He was worried about me? Aweee! Maybe I should say something. What do I say? I can’t sound dumb, but I can’t sound snobby or like a know-it-all. Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ummmmmmmmm. I’m drawing a blank. Crap, he looked away. I have to say something now or he’ll walk away. Ummmmmmmmm.

“Thanks.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Haha. You’re a talkative person.” His smile grew larger. How is that possible?

“Oh, me? No I’m only kind of talkative. It just depends, I don’t know.” Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“I’m Andrew by the way.” Andrew. Andy. Or maybe Drew. Maybe AJ, you know if he has a last name that starts with a J.

“And you are…” Crap! What’s my name? Ummmmmmmmm. Eliza, no Lizzy. Wait which one do I tell him?

“Elizzy. Or um no. It’s Eliza, but my friends call me Lizzy.” Andrew chuckled a little. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Well, Eliza it’s nice to meet you.” Call me Lizzy.

“Nice to you to. Or wait no, nice to meet you too.” Eliza let out one big sigh. She didn’t know what was happening to her. This guy made her feel like some silly school girl. She was an adult. A mature adult. “I’m sorry I’m just…”

“Flustered? You seem like it. Probably from nerves. You just preformed right?”

“Yeah. I did.” But that’s not what cause my nerves, anxiety, but not my nerves.

“I saw a part of it, you’re really good.”

“Thanks.” Eliza’s heart raced at the compliment. He saw me! He thought I was good!

“My friend dragged me to this thing. I didn’t realize how cool it could be. Everyone’s performances are so intriguing.” By everyone you mean mine right? Cause that would be just super awesome if you found me intriguing and not the other people. Like super awesome.

“It is interesting to see everyone’s take on the performance. Which one’s your friend?” Andrew pointed to a girl standing in the middle of the stage talking to the director of the show.

“That’s her over there.” Oh. You mean the tall skinny exotic looking woman, who could make snoring look like a beautiful art form. Great!!! “Yeah she talked about this for weeks, and then somehow convinced me to go with her.” “Somehow convinced you” oh I highly doubt that was a hard thing for her to do. What did she do? Blink? Great!!! How to get out of here without looking like I feel? Hmmm.

“Exit stage right.” The man over speaker announced.

“Well it looks like my friends done too. You should meet her! She loves talking to other performers.” Nope. Nope. Nope. Not in a million years. NOPE!!!!

“I would love to, but I’m supposed to meet up with my friend after this.”

“Oh. Ok. Well I understand.” His smile faded a little, but Eliza didn’t notice. She was so focused on an escape plan that the only thing in her sight was the bright red exit sign.

“Well I better go, bye.” And like that Eliza darted in the direction of the door leading outside. She didn’t look back, she was scarred that Andrew and the super model were already laughing about how awkward she was. When she stepped outside she slammed the door behind her. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The heat from the day felt good against her skin. The city noise was comforting. Why are you freaking out? He was just some nice guy who helped you up. What did you expect? Him to be you’re prince charming. No! Well, not a prince. She shook her head. You made a big deal out of nothing. No reason to freak out. Now he probably thinks you’re rude for just running out like that. Oh well! You’ll never see him again. It doesn’t matter what he thinks. Eliza walked to the curb and waved for a taxi. The yellow car pulled up and she opened the door and got in. She grabbed the door handle and began to close it, but before the door shut a hand reached out and stopped. “The taxi is already taken dude, get your own.” She looked up and there they were. Those two curiously hazel eyes that made her stomach fill with butterflies.

“I promise I’m not trying to steal your cab.” Those pearly white teeth shone through a wide smile. Eliza’s face reddened in embarrassment. Stupid, stupid, stupid. “You dropped you’re I.D. on the stage.”

“Oh. I did. My bad. Thank you” She grabbed the I.D. and their hands brushed against each other. She immediately pulled her hand back and looked down. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Stop being affected by this man. Just stop it. She took a deep breath, and looked up back at him and smiled. See, you’re not affected by him. So what he’s kind of attractive, so are tons of other people in the world. Maybe it was really nice and thoughtful of him to bring my I.D., or to help me up, but I’m pretty sure someone else would’ve done the same thing. Probably….not.

“No problem.” He looked behind him and said something and then looked back at Eliza. “So I guess I’ll let you go. Have fun with your friend.”

“Thanks. Bye.” He smiled and shut the door softly. Eliza fell back into the seat and rested her head on the back. She closed her eyes trying to recover from the encounter. I feel like an idiot. How could I act like such an idiot? I’m smart. I promise. I’m also very sensible, and funny, and interesting. Ugh. This man made her head spin. Well at least he noticed me. That’s a positive. Granted I didn’t give him much to notice when he started talking to me. Eliza gripped her I.D. It was nice of him to bring this to me. I don’t know if I would’ve done the same for a stranger. She squeezed her eyes one more time and then opened them. She looked down at her I.D. and something caught her eye. Stuck on to the back of the I.D. was a small piece of paper. Eliza unfolded it and on the paper was a set of numbers and a note that read “I wish we could’ve talked more. Call me sometime.” Eliza’s faced tightened into a smile. He liked me. He liked me. Oh. My. Gosh. He liked me!!!! She was so ecstatic. Her day was looking up. She even did a little dance in the back seat.

*man clears throat* “Excuse me miss, where would you like to go?” Eliza looked up and realized that the taxi hadn’t moved. She looked out the window and Andrew and his friend were staring at her through the window in a curious manner. Heat rushed to Eliza’s face.

“Anywhere. Just drive please!” Maybe he hasn’t changed his mind. Fingers crossed.  

Fairy Tale

“Once upon a time...”

                “Hold up, why we got to start it out like that.”

                “Why do we HAVE to? Well it makes sense when you’re writing a fairy tale.”

                “Who says you have to start a fairy tale like that?”

                “Everyone.”

                “Well unless you can bring everyone here to prove that, we gonna do it differently.”

                “Why are we GOING to do it differently? It would be much easier to just start it with ‘Once upon a time’.”

                “Says you.”

                “Fine. How would you like to start the story off?”

                “Yo see there was this chic who lived in a small town. She was freakin’ awesome, but you know them haters out there goin’ to drag her down. Her name was Belle and she was different than everyone else cause she liked to read, and the townspeople were too stupid to appreciate that.”

                “Wait, wait, wait. That’s the tale of Beauty and the Beast.”

                “Yeah, so.”

   “So, we can’t use that. It’s called plagiarism.”

                “Oh…Well then what we supposed to do?”

                “Well like I was originally saying. Once upon a time…”

                “No.”

                “What?”

                “We ain’t using that dumb ass opening.”

                “Come up with a better idea, preferably one that doesn’t already exist.”

                “Ok I got it. So there’s this chic right. She got some super long hair, but she can’t show no one cause she locked up in some tower.”

                “Nope. That’s Rapunzel.”

                “I got more. Ok lets see. So this chic be scrubbing floors all the time cause she got them evil stepsisters and…”

                “Cinderella.”

                “So there’s this prince right, and he ridin’ through the woods when he happen upon some chic. See he thought this chic was dead, but really she be sleeping because..”

                “Sleeping Beauty.”

                “Ok. I swear I got more.”

                “I bet you do. You must be inspired by all the Disney productions.”

                “So there’s this red headed chic right. She be all independent, shooting arrows into the woods while riding a horse right.”

                “Merida from Brave.”

                “Well I ain’t see you come up with shit.”

                *Clears throat* “Once upon a time…”

1-31-16

You know that moment you look out into the world and everyone is moving, everyone has plans, a destination, a life that is pushing them into the next second, hour, and day, and then there’s you, sitting, standing, or lying in an abyss that only you’re aware of. The air is still, the sky is gray, your heart’s on pause, struck into silence, into a moment. A moment that has captured your essence. Hypnotized by this moment you find yourself lost. Not in physical location, but in awareness. The second your eyes drift from what’s in front of you, you’re gone; smoke in the proverbial wind. Time becomes nothing more than a word; life nothing more than some distant concept. And all the while this moment, this second in time, is nothing more than a memory that could be forgotten or pushed aside, but for some reason you’ve grabbed this memory and placed it on the screen to repeat over and over again in front of your eyes. As if the images will help you grasp the reality that slipped away the second you woke up and realized it was real, it did happen.  

Intro

 I write because to me writing is the only release I get from the mess which is my mind.