“Once upon a time...”
“Hold
up, why we got to start it out like that.”
“Why do
we HAVE to? Well it makes sense when you’re writing a fairy tale.”
“Who
says you have to start a fairy tale like that?”
“Everyone.”
“Well
unless you can bring everyone here to prove that, we gonna do it differently.”
“Why
are we GOING to do it differently? It would be much easier to just start it
with ‘Once upon a time’.”
“Says
you.”
“Fine.
How would you like to start the story off?”
“Yo see
there was this chic who lived in a small town. She was freakin’ awesome, but
you know them haters out there goin’ to drag her down. Her name was Belle and
she was different than everyone else cause she liked to read, and the
townspeople were too stupid to appreciate that.”
“Wait,
wait, wait. That’s the tale of Beauty and the Beast.”
“Yeah,
so.”
“So, we can’t use
that. It’s called plagiarism.”
“Oh…Well
then what we supposed to do?”
“Well
like I was originally saying. Once upon a time…”
“No.”
“What?”
“We
ain’t using that dumb ass opening.”
“Come
up with a better idea, preferably one that doesn’t already exist.”
“Ok I
got it. So there’s this chic right. She got some super long hair, but she can’t
show no one cause she locked up in some tower.”
“Nope.
That’s Rapunzel.”
“I got
more. Ok lets see. So this chic be scrubbing floors all the time cause she got
them evil stepsisters and…”
“Cinderella.”
“So
there’s this prince right, and he ridin’ through the woods when he happen upon
some chic. See he thought this chic was dead, but really she be sleeping
because..”
“Sleeping
Beauty.”
“Ok. I
swear I got more.”
“I bet
you do. You must be inspired by all the Disney productions.”
“So
there’s this red headed chic right. She be all independent, shooting arrows
into the woods while riding a horse right.”
“Merida
from Brave.”
“Well I
ain’t see you come up with shit.”
*Clears
throat* “Once upon a time…”
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